Monday, June 12, 2006

And now we're back where we started...

I happened to catch a show on Bravo tonight called Three of Hearts. It caught my eye because of the polyamorous relationship it documents. The premise is two men who have a relationship decide to invite a woman to become a part of it. It’s dated 2004, but I’ve not seen or heard of it before. It was interesting and somewhat sad. Because of the limited view that’s portrayed, the viewer doesn’t get much of an opportunity to hear about communication within the group - with the exception of the person who has the more extroverted personality. Nor do we get to hear about sex until we learn it’s absent. I think understanding these dynamics are important to understanding their relationship. There are so few models of polyamory that we see, that it seems like such an opportunity to be able to examine another relationship without having an emotional stake. This is a challenge. There are very few people to bounce ideas off of. I'm not saying I need another relationship around which to model mine, but it is helpful to see how other people handle similar situations.

So communication and sex... these are topics that are near and dear to me in my relationships and I continue to strive to understand them.

The weekend was pretty much a waste. I believed there were some interesting learning opportunities that, while they were hard to experience, presented opportunities for understanding and growth. Lots of little daggers were thrown about and looking back on the weekend from my Monday perspective, I don’t see any learning that’s taken place after all, which is a big disappointment. Especially since I went to bed last night feeling positive about the outcome.

I'm a little perplexed about my seemingly newfound ability to be in the middle of a "situation" (R would call this "banging heads"), and see it somewhat analytically. This is so not me. I do question why that's happening or even if my perception that it's happening is valid. I wonder if I'm the only one here learning anything, or sometimes, if I even AM learning. And to me, that's what it's all about. (And here you thought the hokey pokey is what it's all about...)


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